Clarissa Dalloway and her daughter Elizabeth in Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf have a very interesting relationship. Clarissa never thinks anything bad about her daughter- she is constantly loving and only criticizes Elizabeth’s choices in friends. Elizabeth, on the other hand, seems slightly annoyed by her mother and passive to the idea of spending time with her. In some cases, while seeming odd, the relationship is also reminiscent of many mother-daughter relationships today. It reminds me of how teenagers seem to always go through a phase of being annoyed and feeling misunderstood by their parents. I think Elizabeth especially feels this way because Clarissa tends to push Elizabeth to be a different person, one more like herself.
It’s important to note that Elizabeth is very different from her mother. She mentions only ever wanting to stay in their country house with her father and her dogs. While Clarissa is running around making sure all her party guests are content, Elizabeth is waiting around worrying over her dog upstairs. When Clarissa wants to take Elizabeth shopping, Elizabeth would rather spend time with Miss. Kilman, who both Clarissa and Richard Dalloway dislike. I especially think the way Clarissa views Elizabeth and Miss Kilman's relationship is telling of the mother-daughter dynamic in this book. I feel like there is certainly a lot of jealousy coming from Clarissa’s side. On one hand, I feel like Clarissa could be sensing she is being replaced. Miss Kilman can offer Elizabeth many things that Clarissa can not, including the reason they first met, that Miss Kilman could tutor her extensively on history. Clarissa often feels belittled for caring about ‘trivial’ things like parties and sewing (especially by Peter). Since it seems like Elizabeth doesn’t care for these things and would rather have the education and opportunities Clarissa was never given and can’t help Elizabeth with, I can see how Clarissa may feel left behind and once again trivialized for the things she enjoys to do. Not to mention there is definitely some bitterness over the fact that Miss Kilman is very poor and by Clarissa’s standards, very far beneath her, yet still has the education that Clarissa lacks.
On the other hand, I think Clarissa may also hold some resentment over Elizabeth and Miss Kilman’s friendship because it reminds her of her and Sally Seton’s companionship, which was left behind so long ago. At its base, this story seems like Clarissa reminiscing about her teenage years and the life and friends she left behind. It would be fitting in this story for Clarissa to be upset about Elizabeth and Miss Kilman because she is jealous her daughter has something she lost. Sally Seton was extremely important to Clarissa, so much that Clarissa basically expressed her feelings for Sally as a true love she never quite felt with anyone else. I imagine losing a relationship like that would be heartbreaking, so seeing her daughter have that with Miss Kilman may bring back grief for what she lost with Sally.
Overall, however, I think what is more interesting is that Elizabeth doesn’t seem to have the same extremely complex feelings over her relationships as both Clarissa and Miss Kilman have. While Clarissa and Miss Kilman both express deep feelings of dislike over each other and seem to be fighting over Elizabeth, Elizabeth seems passive over both of them. While she avoids spending time with her mother in favor of Miss Kilman, the moments we see of her and Miss Kilman’s interactions are a little sad. It feels like Elizabeth doesn’t actually care much about Miss Kilman, which is obvious when she abandons her at the shops and instead goes to ride an omnibus for no other reason than that she doesn’t want to go home yet and she likes the fresh air. It feels like Elizabeth is just a person with simple desires surrounded by characters who are complicated and often have too much drama among them. I think it's refreshing to have a character like Elizabeth, and I think every book should have one of her.
Nice job! Elizabeth was definitely one of the lesser-talked about characters, and I agree that it was a refresher from the complex and layered emotions of all the other characters involved. She isn't particularly passionate about anything that's going on around her and just wants to live a relatively simple life. On the note about Clarissa's thoughts on Elizabeth and Ms. Kilman, however, I interpret Clarissa's uneasiness slightly differently. You mention that Clarissa is jealous of the relationship her daughter has with Ms. Kilman, but I think she is just being overprotective. Due to Clarissa's own experiences with Sally Seton, she knows the pain of losing love with someone due to societal expectations. Since she recognizes a similar dynamic between her daughter and her tutor, I think she is trying to save her daughter from additional distress by resenting her relationship with Ms. Kilman.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth is one of my favorite characters and you put into words why that is very well. She's like a break from all the other characters and I think readers can relate with her a lot. It seems that she gets overwhelmed by Clarissa and Miss Kilman's overbearing nature which is why Elizabeth rides the omnibus. I was happy when she did because I also think that the characters in that particular section were smothering and desperate.
ReplyDeleteYour comparisons are really well described and aptly put in this post. I think that Woolf put a lot of effort into making her characters contrast with each other very well and Elizabeth must be an extension of that idea. One of the things that struck me most about Elizabeth's relationship with Miss Kilman was indeed the sad relationship... assuming that Clarissa dislikes Miss Kilman because of the "special relationship" she has with Elizabeth (guised jealousy), this is almost like another contrast showing the "expectation" and actual "reality", a theme that I think is very prevalent in the book.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree that Elizabeth and Clarissa have a very realistic mother-daughter relationship. I think Elizabeth is really interesting because she's so unbothered by everything compared to other characters who are constantly worried about what people think of them. Her dream of living in the countryside with her dogs is very relatable. Great post!
ReplyDeleteHey, nice job! You mention that Clarissa doesn't say anything bad about her; I generally agree with that but at some point in the book Clarissa does mention that Elizabeth used to have a perfect humor when she was a child (implying she no longer does), so Clarissa is clearly experiencing Elizabeth changing and drifting away from her, which connects to your point about Clarissa being jealous of the close relationship that Elizabeth and Ms. Kilman develops.
ReplyDeleteUnrelated to the above, but another thing that makes Elizabeth different from Clarissa is perhaps her relationship with Richard. We see Richard and Elizabeth being similar in several ways, most notably in their experience with dogs and similar personality regarding liking the country, and this leads them to develop a friendly relationship of their own, separate from Clarissa's relationship with Elizabeth.
I'm so glad you (and some others) chose to write about Elizabeth Dalloway--she is one of my favorites in this novel, too, and I especially love her dynamic with her father. Clarissa loves her daughter, but as you say, there is tension--Elizabeth really couldn't care less about shopping for gloves, and Clarissa genuinely wishes she had a daughter who is more like herself, or who likes doing the things she likes. With Richard, it's a lot more effortless--Elizabeth simply likes her dad (like everyone in this novel!), and she loves her dog (which also makes me like her), and she especially likes playing with her dog with her dad out in the country, far from London society, parties, and glove shopping.
ReplyDeleteOne of my favorite moments in the party is when Elizabeth is having a pretty good time, mostly just enduring it for her mom's sake, and she hears her dog whining off in some room where he's been shut away from the party. She wishes the party were over so she could go let the dog out. This is so familiar and relatable, and such a great detail--no one else at the party even seems to hear the dog whining, but Elizabeth is tuned in to his frequency, and as soon as she can, she's going to ditch these socialites and play with her dog!
In my blog I wrote about my top three characters in the book, and Elizabeth Dalloway was at the top of my list. I that her her dynamic with Clarissa is somewhat the stereotypical mother-daughter relationship. However, I wonder if this was common at the time that the book was written, or was something that was different back then...
ReplyDeleteEither way, I also found it refreshing to read about a character that didn't have so much drama. She just seemed... like a normal, everyday person. However, I also think this is because Virginia Woolf somewhat neglected to elaborate more on her story. That I remember, there was only one real scene where we got to hear the story from her point of view. I wish that we had gotten more exposure to her character, as I'm sure she would have had more to say on Clarissa, Ms. Kilman, etc.
I think Clarissa definitely sees herself in Elizabeth, especially in the book. Clarissa's main focus throughout the book is her teen years, and the decisions she made when she was younger. I think she sees herself in Elizabeth, especially when it comes to her relationship with Miss Kilman. Clarissa seems to regret how things ended with Sally, and she knows the society she lives in wouldn't have accepted her and Sally, much like it wouldn't accept Elizabeth and Miss Kilman. I think there are many reasons Clarissa doesn't approve of Miss Kilman, like her jealousy of her, and Miss Kilman's social status, but I also think Clarissa doesn't want Elizabeth to go through what she went through with Sally. Maybe part of her is trying to protect Elizabeth from heartbreak and regret. Great post!
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